We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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