Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
