the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
