No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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