You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
