I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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