I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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