I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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