Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
