she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
