fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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