The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
