Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
