Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
