I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
