It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
