We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
