She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
organizing the empties. That sober.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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