we have officially lost it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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