To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
