Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
