very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
