So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
