I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
