what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
