she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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