You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
