yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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