i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
