I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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