Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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