why didn't you poke me back
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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