I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
