She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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