What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
