Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
And my parents said I crawled through the house
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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