i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
