What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
