the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
