so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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