How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just want to make out with him forever
Randomize
