Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
