To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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