my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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