I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
