Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
