Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
