This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
