ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
