She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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