thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
