Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
