do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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