I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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