this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
