my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
that's an acceptable place to lick
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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