Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize