Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize