well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
