i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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