all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
