We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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