the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
