So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
